“Love yourself!” “Love your flaws!” “Your body is beautiful!” How often are we told these things? I’ve said them in previous posts, I’m sure.
What we don’t hear as frequently though, is what to do if you DON’T feel this way. I know that so many of us are experiencing mixed feelings about our bodies; I know that because so many of you have shared that with me & I feel the SAME!
Sure, some days I’m dancing around in my bathing suit, feeling grateful for all that my body does for me. Some days I’m wearing a pretty dress & feeling beautiful. But there are plenty of other days. There are days when I catch a glimpse of my reflection & think, I look 8 months pregnant. There are days when I go to the beach with a friend & revert back to the comparison game. There are days where I want to hide my body. If you’re reading this, maybe you have had similar days.
Bottom line: it’s harder to feel good about yourself on the outside if you don’t feel good on the inside. This is a recent revelation for me; I’ve noticed on days when my anxiety is high, I have trouble accepting my body. These things go hand in hand. It’s not as easy as simply throwing on the bikini, there is self-reflection & inner WORK to do first. How do I do this? I go to therapy, I write down my anxious or negative thoughts, I identify WHY I’m feeling different emotions. I surround myself with people who remind me of the best things about myself! Over time, I find accepting my body to be easier. The bad days don’t spiral into bad weeks or months, & I feel good about that.
We’re seeing posts about how every body is a bikini body; how you should feel good about your body no matter what. I love this messaging, but I know it’s not always completely realistic. My hope for you this summer is to have days where you’re having too much fun with people you love to even think about your insecurities!
I started this blog to challenge myself to be vulnerable, so here goes: I’ve been struggling a bit in the mental health department. I’m okay & thankfully I have plenty of established coping skills, but my anxiety has been not so great lately. (Edit: woke up in a much better headspace this morning, yay!)
I think this is because of a few things; we’ve had some things going on personally that bring out a lot of feelings, I’m adjusting to being on summer break, & the dreary afternoons lately are the worst when I’m, as both my therapist & John describe me, a house plant.
Typically, routines & my comfort zone is how I keep my anxiety in check. It’s summer break, & while I still have grad school coursework, I’m finding myself with a lot of free time. I’m playing with Theo & watching funny shows, but also feeling guilty that I’m not being more productive. It’s a vicious cycle, feeling anxious about how I’m wasting my summer break feeling anxious.
Here are a few things I’m trying to do this week that seem to be helping:
Making a to-do list for the following day. I’m putting even the smallest of tasks on my list right now, so that I feel productive crossing it off!
Making fun plans. I have a beach trip planned for Friday, a weekend by the pool with my parents, a weekend trip planned for the 4th of July. Making plans gives me extra things to look forward to!
Getting ready for the day. The first few days of summer break, I stayed in pajamas. It made me feel off all day, so this week I’m putting real clothes on & doing my makeup.
Moving my body! Those endorphins do wonders. My mom & I have decided to do some fun dance workout videos (Kyra Pro on YouTube is one of my faves!) & hold each other accountable. We just did our first one together & I feel great!
Just a reminder that everyone gets into a funk sometimes. Hopefully we have good support systems, coping skills, & patience with ourselves to start feeling better. Leave a comment & check in, how are you doing?
It’s summer, baby! It hasn’t fully hit me yet but I think I officially feel the tension starting to leave my jaw. I’ve been studying for a teacher certification test (I passed!!) & working on my grad school coursework. So while “summer break” is relative, I feel thankful to have some free time to unwind! I’m planning on relaxing at my parents’ pool & the beach, going for long walks with Theo, & organizing our apartment.
Here are some more goals I’m hoping to accomplish over the next two (ish!) months!
Plan for the upcoming school year!
Work ahead in my coursework.
Work on Theo’s reactivity training.
Go through my closet & curate my wardrobe so that I (hopefully!) love all my clothes.
While these goals are all important to me, my priority will be unwinding & finding time to do things that bring me joy. As we head into the weekend, I hope you find time to relax & unwind. You can’t pour from an empty cup!
“What’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” are a few questions I received when I told family & friends that I was going to therapy. While therapy is wonderful for those who are struggling (& if you are struggling, there is help out there for you!), it can also be amazing when there’s nothing wrong at all. I felt inspired by an Instagram post by Keiko Wolfe, to write a list of reasons why everyone should go to therapy, whether you’re going through something or not!
I’ve previously written about my mental health journey (I’ll link my post here!) & have mentioned more recently that I’m going to school to become a mental health counselor myself. My main reason for being in therapy right now is to be the best therapist I can be, but I’m also working through other things in my sessions. Here are a few reasons why someone might benefit from therapy!
To process a big life change
To nurture relationships with others (& yourself!)
To learn more about yourself
To unpack childhood trauma
To learn new coping skills
Therapy is so helpful for people who are struggling, but it’s not ONLY for those in a dark place. That is what the stigma surrounding mental health tells us in our society. Regardless of how you feel about therapy or where you are in your mental health journey, I hope you know that you are worthy of living your best life. I’m so happy you’re here!
Hi there! I hope you’re having a good week so far! John & I celebrated our 5 year anniversary (of dating, not married yet!) on Tuesday. It was definitely the highlight of my week! We went to a little Mexican restaurant with cute outdoor seating. We drank a pitcher of margaritas & daydreamed about where we’ll travel next. It was perfect!
It’s so crazy to think that we’ve been together for 5 years. It feels like yesterday & a lifetime ago, all at the same time. He’s truly my best friend! We’ve been through so much together, good & bad. There’s no one else I’d rather go through life with!
I had my first official therapy session last week. I’ll be going to therapy (virtually!) every other week. I feel really happy with this step toward taking care of my health! It’s also fun to be able to discuss different therapy perspectives & theories with my therapist (if you didn’t know, I’m going to school to be a therapist & I’m a complete mental health nerd!)
I hope you’re finding little ways to take care of yourself, even in the midst of a hectic, busy life. I wanted to share a few of my favorite ways that I’ve been practicing self-care!
Going to therapy, like I mentioned! I’m really enjoying it so far, & it feels so good to carve out 50 minutes of time to focus solely on my mental health. 10/10 would recommend!
Practicing mindfulness. This is something my therapist recommended; it’s something I’ve already been doing BUT she is encouraging me to be more mindful about being mindful, haha. For me, that looks like setting aside time throughout the day to notice where I’m holding tension, checking in with myself, & deep breathing.
Preparing for work the night before! I’ve been trying to pack my lunch, fill my water bottle, & pick out my clothes before bed. It helps me get out the door faster + I don’t have much to think about when I’m in my morning zombie mode!
Eating breakfast every day. I just feel better when I eat breakfast so I’ve been heating up a breakfast burrito, packing it in my bag, & eating it once I’m in my classroom.
Decluttering-not my favorite but it helps me feel less anxious! I’ve been slowly going through my closet & trying to get my apartment organized.
I hope this post reminds you to practice self-care! What’s your favorite way to take care of yourself?
Life gets hectic (I’m sure you get it!) & I also wasn’t feeling particularly inspired to write for a little while there. Stay tuned soon though, I have some fun fashion & beauty blog posts coming your way!
This weekend, I felt a shift in my mindset. I felt a lot of hope for the (near!) future. I think a big part of that is that I’m getting my second COVID vaccine on Saturday! My parents, sister, & two of our closest friends are also getting vaccinated so the idea that we’ll be able to spend time together feels incredible!
Here are a few things I’m looking forward to over the summer, once I’m fully vaccinated!
Outdoor seating at restaurants
Margaritas with friends!
Going to the beach
More backyard hangs
Most of all, I’m excited for that peace of mind I’ll hopefully feel once I’m vaccinated. To be able to go to my parents’ house & not feel on edge or worried about potentially getting them sick; that’s a feeling I won’t ever take for granted.
What are you feeling most excited for this summer?!
I’ve always been a night owl. I love staying up late & sleeping in, & it’s been my default my whole life. My grandpa always used to tell me that my ideal work day would be between noon-8 pm; he was totally right!
I teach 2nd grade, which isn’t exactly conducive to sleeping in or staying up late. Add on my grad school coursework, & I was always TIRED. I would take naps for hours after work, wake up, & do my school work, staying up until 1 or 2 am. I slowly realized that staying up late was not sustainable.
So I started going to bed earlier. & it was magical. My mom has been trying to tell me that for years (sorry, Mom!) & I was so set in my night owl ways, I just didn’t want to hear it. I thought I would be missing out on something if I went to bed early (I have no idea what, I’ve just always felt that way haha.) & then I’d drag my miserable, exhausted body to work, after sleeping until the last possible second. Here are some tips for becoming a (albeit reluctant!) morning person:
Make gradual changes! You’re probably not going to become a morning person overnight. BUT you can choose to go to bed 30 minutes earlier. Notice how much better you feel in the morning, & start there.
Create a morning routine you actually look forward to! It might include sipping a cup of coffee on your porch, playing with your dog, eating your favorite breakfast, or going for a run. Whatever can bring you even the tiniest bit of joy in the morning, do it!
I love naps. LOVE them. But, I had to cut them out (most days, anyway!) Instead of my usual post-work nap, we’ve been taking Theo for a long walk. This gives me enough energy to power through making dinner, doing homework, & whatever else I have to do after work.
I hope these tips help inspire you to become a morning person! If you’re just starting this journey like me, comment any tips you have!
We have NO control over other people; what they say, what they do, how they interpret things you say or do. We can only control our own reactions. That’s easier said than done, but I try to choose grace. Grace for myself & others, in every situation.
People can really suck, sometimes. It’s hard & it’s upsetting, especially for my fellow empaths. It’s difficult not to take on that negative energy; difficult to let it go.
Not everyone leads with kindness, not everyone is mindful of the feelings of others. That says everything about them & nothing about you. Don’t let others get you down, don’t let them dim that beautiful light of yours. Keep shining, beauty!
43 blog posts. 2,456 views. Several brand collaborations, & countless inspiring conversations.
I’m so lucky! I wanted to start this blog for years before I finally did it. The idea that I could share my love for fashion & beauty while empowering other women to love themselves seemed too good to be true. Here we are, one year after I posted my first blog post.
If something feels scary but you feel called to do it, you should do it! Don’t let your own doubts hold yourself back. I’ll never regret creating this blog, but I may have regretted it if I never took that first step & just STARTED.
This blog has given me so much. It’s given me inspiration, creativity, & a built-in way for me to process my emotions & experiences, good & bad.
When you’re in my little corner of the internet, I hope you feel encouraged to love yourself as you are. I hope you feel empowered to do anything you want to do. I hope you feel inspired to always be kind & know that to be vulnerable is to be brave. I’m so thankful to you for being here!
When we went back to school in the fall, I started setting weekly intentions for myself. This felt like a good way to be gentle with myself & not to feel too much pressure while teaching. It felt comforting & productive while not overwhelming. I really recommend setting weekly intentions, particularly if you’re struggling.
Each week, I would write in my agenda my intentions for the week; what I hoped to achieve & how I hoped I could leave those I interacted with feeling. Instead of the typical New Years resolutions, I thought I would set some intentions for the new year.
Appreciating the little things. 2020 taught me to slow down & enjoy the things I have.
Making time for hobbies. I love to be creative & life doesn’t always allow for much time to do that. I’m hoping to set aside more time this year to explore things that make me feel creative.
Being more intentional with my spending. I want to cook at home more often, order takeout less, & buy clothes that I truly love & will want to wear frequently.
I have a lot of goals I’m working toward (academic, profession, & personal!) but these three intentions are what is resonating with me currently. I like that if I make these three simple things a priority, my year is already off to a good start!
This is also only the second year that I’m not setting a weight-related goal at the beginning of the year, I think it’s important to acknowledge that. I spent my whole life telling myself that I would lose weight in the new year, that this would somehow make my life more fulfilling. Time & time again, life has proven to me that I do not need to lose weight to have value. I can be happy right now, as I am.
2021 is here; things aren’t magically better or less stressful. Life is challenging & messy & overwhelming at times. I’ve been feeling immense gratitude; for the health & happiness of my loved ones, for John, for our life together. I’m so lucky & even on my most difficult days, that doesn’t change.
I hope that you’re doing well! If you’re struggling, I’m thinking of you & sending light your way.