Disclaimer: I write about my struggles with loving my body in this post. If disordered eating, weight loss, or anything like that is triggering to you, skip this post. It’s never my intention to cause harm or re-traumatize. This is just my personal experience.
Hi there,
I like to start & end my posts on a lighter note, so here’s a dress I’ve been getting a lot of questions about! I have my first-ever affiliate link HERE. If you purchase using this link I’ll earn a small amount of commission at no extra cost to you. I’m obsessed with the tie-sleeve detail & the smocking makes it so that you don’t have to wear a bra if you don’t want to! I’m wearing an XL, which I feel like honestly could work if you’re bigger or smaller than me because of the smocked top. There are only a few sizes left on Prime in this color, but there’s also a pretty yellow!
A stranger asked me if I was pregnant, again. It’s happened a few times now & it sucks. It hurts. It’s hard. It’s hard to try to have confidence in my body when it happens. I’m not proud of my initial reactions but I wanted to list them here:
- I shouldn’t eat dinner tonight.
- I need to do 100 crunches when I get home.
- My stomach has gotten so big, I’m disgusting.
- I shouldn’t be wearing this tight tank top.
- I need to lose 50 lbs, ASAP.
I’m human. I’m not going to have wonderful, confident days every single day of my life. I’m also not going to be able to let every comment roll right off my back. Here is what I would have said if a friend said any of those things on that list to me, & what I would want to replace those initial thoughts with:
- You’re a beautiful person with a caring heart.
- Your body lets you run around with your cute puppy.
- Work out if it makes you feel good, but don’t use it to punish your body.
Even just writing this, I’m starting to feel uplifted & appreciative of my body. (I’ll be completely honest: we just got back from the tennis court where a woman asked me that question. My immediate response was to curl up in bed, cry, & snuggle with Phoebe. Not great, but working on it!) It’s just another example of how body confidence is an every day journey. One minute you’re soaking in the sun, playing fetch with your pup. The next minute, you’re considering skipping meals & holed up in your dark bedroom. People can be the worst sometimes. I know that far too many women experience this though; from reading stories online & also having friends reach out to me with their own stories of this. It doesn’t seem to matter what body type you have: people somehow justify asking invasive questions about your body regardless. If you’ve considered asking someone if they’re expecting, please stop & think of the ways that could be harmful; maybe they’re having infertility issues, are going through a big life change, or maybe they’re trying to love themselves better. No matter what, they don’t owe anyone an explanation.
I don’t have some sort of cure-all answer to make myself feel better, or to help if this has happened to you. I think all we can do is practice using our coping skills (or developing healthier ones!) & leaning on our support systems.
We’re all on this journey to love ourselves the best we can. We only get one of these bodies, after all. Thanks for reading lengthy post (& letting me vent! Definitely needed this). Apparently I had a lot of thoughts that needed to get out, haha. Oh & make sure you tag me in pictures of you if you buy this dress! I hope you love it as much as I do.
Sending love,
Danielle
Danielle Delgado 