Yesterday & today, my stomach has been in knots. I’ve been holding back tears. I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel frustrated. I feel overwhelmed.
I wanted to sit down & share these feelings because I haven’t been allowing myself to feel these things. I’ve been pushing them away, because I have it better than so many others & it could be so much worse. I’m guessing some of you may have been pushing some feelings down, too.
I talk a lot about validating my own feelings & the feelings of others, but I haven’t been practicing what I preach lately. I’ve bottled up my feelings because I felt like I didn’t have the right to feel that way. I’m supposed to feel thankful & positive, right? It’s okay if that’s not how I felt yesterday, or how I’m feeling today. Because it’s not. So this is me, giving myself permission to feel sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed. I give myself permission to feel however I’m feeling, & you should too!
If you had to postpone your wedding & feel devastated, your feelings are valid. If you had to cancel a trip you’ve been dreaming about & feel angry, your feelings are valid. If you might be facing unemployment & you’re scared, your feelings are valid. If you’re frustrated at the thought of your whole life being disrupted, your feelings are valid. Yes, there are many people right now who are struggling to meet their basic needs & to survive. There are people who are facing unimaginable challenges, & my heart & thoughts are with them. If we are privileged enough to meet our needs, I think we should come together to help them in any way that we can. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t space for how I feel too. There is space for your struggles & feelings as well.
Once we give ourselves the permission & space to feel however we’re feeling, it’s easier to let the light in. We can sort through each feeling, sit with it awhile, & then find a way to overcome it. That’s what I’m choosing to do. I chose to sit with those anxious thoughts & overwhelming feelings yesterday, & then I threw on a bright floral dress & walked my dog in the sunshine to lift my spirits. It feels empowering to take care of myself right now. That is how I will overcome this heavy weight in my chest. That is how I will get through every day during this weird, scary time. That is how I will let the light in.
These are strange times & they can feel really dark, really heavy. Be extra gentle with yourself right now & give yourself time to process. Don’t forget to let that light in.
Sending you all of the healthy, positive vibes,